Being shouted at in front of the whole office is not robust management. It is not toughening you up. It is bullying, and it does measurable damage.
Workplace bullying is repeated unreasonable behaviour directed at a person that creates a risk to their health. In Nigerian workplaces it is frequently protected by hierarchy — a senior person’s conduct is reframed as high standards, and the junior person’s distress is reframed as inability to cope. Naming it accurately is the first step, because most people spend a long time wondering whether they are overreacting.
What counts
Bullying is a pattern, not a single bad day. It usually includes several of:
- Public humiliation — being dressed down in front of colleagues, in meetings, on group calls
- Constant criticism disproportionate to the work, often about you rather than the output
- Impossible or shifting demands, then blame when they are not met
- Exclusion — kept out of meetings you need, information withheld, then held responsible
- Being given no work at all, which is a recognised tactic and deeply demoralising
- Threats about your job, made casually and regularly
- Personal remarks — appearance, tribe, religion, accent, gender, age
- Taking credit for your work, or blaming you for their errors
- Calls and messages at any hour, with an expectation of instant response
- Withholding approvals — leave, salary paperwork, references — as leverage
One difficult manager is not necessarily bullying. Repetition and the power gap are what make it so.
Where the problem is the whole place rather than a person — the norms, the hours, the culture — recognising a toxic work environment is the more relevant piece. If the conduct is sexual in nature, that is a different category with different options, including legal ones, and it is worth getting specific advice on it.
Why it goes unchallenged here
Deference is built in. Age and seniority carry considerable authority in Nigerian workplaces. Challenging an “oga” is not merely risky professionally; it reads to many people as a breach of respect. That single fact does most of the work in keeping this invisible.
It is defended as training. That is how we were taught. Public humiliation is presented as a rite of passage, particularly in banking, medicine, law and the military-adjacent. Being shouted into competence is a claim with no evidence behind it.
HR is not independent. In many organisations HR reports to the person you would be complaining about, or is understood to protect the company rather than the employee. People calculate that a complaint costs them their job and changes nothing. Frequently they are right.
The job market makes leaving expensive. With people depending on your salary — see black tax — resigning is not a simple option, and everyone in the building knows it.
No specific legal route. Nigeria has no dedicated anti-bullying employment statute. There are constructive dismissal arguments and, where conduct crosses into harassment or discrimination, other avenues — but nothing straightforward.
Suggested read: WhatsApp After Hours: Boundaries With Work
What it does to you
This is not merely unpleasant. Sustained bullying produces:
- Dread before work, worsening on Sundays
- Sleep breaking down — see insomnia
- Anxiety showing up physically: chest tightness, gut trouble, headaches. See heat in the body
- Performance actually declining, which the bully then cites as justification
- Second-guessing every email and rereading messages for hours
- Withdrawal at home, irritability with family
- Confidence collapsing to the point where leaving feels impossible because you no longer believe you are employable
- Depression, and in prolonged cases trauma responses that persist after you leave
That last effect is worth stating plainly: people carry this into their next job — flinching at a manager’s tone, over-preparing for routine meetings — for years afterwards.
What you can actually do
Write it down, contemporaneously. Date, time, what was said, who was present. Keep it somewhere personal, not on a work device or work account. This is the single most useful practical step, whether you eventually complain, negotiate an exit or simply need to test your own memory against the gaslighting.
Move it into writing where you can. After a verbal instruction or dressing-down, a short confirming email — following our conversation, my understanding is… — creates a record and often moderates behaviour by itself.
Check whether it is only you. Bullies usually have a pattern. Colleagues who have experienced the same thing change what is possible, both emotionally and if you ever escalate.
Work out what escalation realistically achieves. Be honest about your HR function. Sometimes a formal complaint is right; sometimes the better move is a documented, quiet exit. Neither is cowardice — this is a risk assessment, not a moral test.
Get the money ready. An exit fund converts trapped into choosing, and it changes how the same job feels even before you use it.
Do not accept the assessment. The hardest part. Months of being told you are careless, slow or difficult gets internalised. Your record before this manager is evidence; keep it in view.
Tell someone outside work. Isolation is what turns bullying into depression. A friend, a partner, a therapist — someone who can hold the reality when yours is being reshaped daily.
When to get help
Book something if you dread every morning, if your sleep has gone, if you are anxious at weekends about Monday, if your confidence has collapsed, or if you have started to believe you deserve it.
Suggested read: Saying No at Work Without Burning Bridges
Therapy will not fix your manager. It helps with the parts you can affect: keeping your assessment of yourself intact, deciding whether to stay or go from a clear head rather than exhaustion, and repairing the damage afterwards. Filter for workplace stress in our directory.
If it has reached hopelessness or thoughts of harming yourself, our helplines are free — read coping with triggers of suicidal thoughts today.
If your employer offers a mental health benefit, using it does not tell them what you discussed — see will my employer know I used therapy?
Frequently asked questions
Is being shouted at by my boss bullying?
Repeated public humiliation is bullying. A single lost temper is not, though it is still poor management. Pattern and power gap are what define it.
Is workplace bullying illegal in Nigeria?
There is no dedicated anti-bullying statute. Depending on conduct, constructive dismissal or harassment and discrimination arguments may apply — take legal advice on your specifics.
Should I report it to HR?
It depends on whether your HR function is independent in practice. Document first either way; that protects you whichever route you take.
Why do I believe the things my manager says about me?
Because sustained criticism from someone with power over you gets internalised. Your record before this manager is the counter-evidence.
Can therapy help if I cannot leave the job?
Yes — with protecting your own judgement, deciding clearly, and limiting the lasting damage.
